Tell me about your big but

Well, I've certainly been a slacker lately. Actually, I'm trying to figure out which direction to go. I'm considering going off my pain meds (been on them in some form since December, 2001). They don't work as well as they used to (tolerance). If I don't take them, I feel like crap. Sometimes, when I do take them, I feel like crap. They're not good for my liver. They affect my breathing whilst trying to sleep which complicates my sleep apnea. But...I still have pain from my neck to my feet and I'm scared of what I'm going to feel like au naturel. Scary, scary, scary. I meet with my pain doc on Thursday to discuss.

But...does anyone remember the movie Pee Wee's Big Adventure when he's talking to Simone and he says "Everybody I know has a big but, tell me about your big but Simone".

If I do this, I'll probably go to Durango, Colorado and go in the hospital for 3 days to get the drugs out of my system. Then I'll go to a facility that does all kinds of nice things to your body - massage, acupuncture, saunas, etc. And they give you an amino acid IV drip that helps rebuild your neurotransmitters (or something in your brain) so that you get some of your natural endorphins back. I'll be gone 3 weeksish, I'll probably have to board the dogs (DO NOT want to do that).

One of these days (I swear!) I'm going to start working my chocolate business. My sponsor Bill (the guy who enrolled me), his business is starting to take off. The company is launching another new product (they launched the European sipping chocolate last November) and I'm feeling a bit like I'm missing the wave.